Boost Your Motivation and Performance by Changing the Way You Talk to Yourself

How Embracing the Right Kind of Self-Talk Can Help You Succeed

We all have an inner voice that shapes how we think, feel, and act. But did you know how you talk to yourself can significantly impact your performance, motivation, and mental well-being?

Whether you're preparing for a big presentation, training for a race, or trying to stay focused on long-term goals, embracing intentional, empowering self-talk can make all the difference. At Upper East Side Psychology, we integrate techniques from Performance Psychology to help clients enhance focus, build motivation, and achieve meaningful success—and self-talk is one of the most powerful tools we teach.

Why Self-Talk Matters for Performance

Self-talk is the internal dialogue you have throughout the day. It's the way you explain things to yourself, remind yourself of goals, and coach yourself through challenges. Research shows that when done intentionally, self-talk can:

• Improve motivation and goal persistence

• Enhance decision-making under pressure

• Support emotion regulation

• Strengthen confidence and self-efficacy

• Help you follow through on intentions and values

  
  

But how you phrase your self-talk matters.

Why Referring to Yourself by Name Works Better Than “I”

One evidence-based technique for enhancing your self-talk is using your name or the second-person “you” instead of saying “I.” This approach, known as distanced self-talk, it creates a sense of psychological space and helps you become more objective, calm, and compassionate with yourself. 

For example:

• Instead of saying, “I can do this,” try: “Sarah, you’ve got this.”

• Instead of, “I’m so overwhelmed,” try: “You can take this one step at a time.”

  
  

Using your own name mirrors how others would encourage you, triggering the brain's social and relational systems. This shift can boost mood, increase motivation, and help you follow through on goals—especially under pressure or stress.

A 2014 study by Kross et al. found that using your name in self-talk helps regulate emotions and improve performance in high-stress situations by promoting self-distancing and enhancing problem-solving under pressure (Kross et al., 2014).

The 3 Types of Performance-Enhancing Self-Talk

Not all self-talk is the same. Understanding the types of self-talk can help you use the right strategy for the moment.

1. Informational Self-Talk – Guide Your Actions

This type of self-talk involves giving yourself instructions or reminders. It helps you stay on track and focus on the steps required to complete a task.

Examples:

• “Keep your posture upright.”

• “Review the outline before you start.”

• “Take three deep breaths before you speak.”

  
  

Useful for: learning new skills, improving focus, maintaining routines

2. Motivational Self-Talk – Encourage Yourself

Motivational self-talk includes phrases that build confidence and push you forward. It’s like having your own personal cheerleader.

Examples:

• “You’ve done this before. You can do it again.”

• “One step at a time, you’re making progress.”

• “Keep going—you’re closer than you think.”

  
  

Useful for: boosting mood, increasing resilience, overcoming self-doubt

3. Interrogative Self-Talk – Ask Yourself Questions

Instead of commands or affirmations, this type of self-talk involves asking yourself reflective, open-ended questions. This strategy helps you engage your values and make intentional choices.

Examples:

• “Why is this important to me?”

• “What would be the most helpful step right now?”

• “How do I want to show up in this moment?”

  
  

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that interrogative self-talk (e.g., “Will I?”) leads to greater goal-directed behavior than declarative statements (e.g., “I will”) because it activates intrinsic motivation (Senay et al., 2010).

Useful for: value-aligned decisions, long-term goals, building autonomy

How to Start Practicing Positive Self-Talk Today

Here are a few tips to begin integrating effective self-talk into your daily life:

-Write down common phrases you use—and reframe them positively.

-Practice saying your name or “you” in encouraging statements.

-Choose a specific type of self-talk based on your goal or situation.

-Use self-talk to prepare for high-stakes events or difficult conversations.

-Work with a therapist to aid you in improving your self-talk and enhancing your performance

Let Us Help You Build the Tools for Success

At Upper East Side Psychology, our therapists specialize in performance psychology and evidence-based techniques to support you in reaching your personal and professional goals. Whether you're a student, athlete, creative, executive, or simply striving to improve your focus and motivation, we’re here to support your growth.

Want to explore how self-talk and other techniques can help you thrive? Schedule a free consultation and take the first step toward unlocking your potential.

References:

Kross, E., Bruehlman-Senecal, E., Park, J., Burson, A., Dougherty, A., Shablack, H., ... & Ayduk, Ö. (2014). Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), 304–324. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035173

Senay, I., Albarracín, D., & Noguchi, K. (2010). Motivating goal-directed behavior through introspective self-talk: The role of the interrogative form of simple future tense. Psychological Science, 21(4), 499–504. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797610364751

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